a tier of fruit. On a pretty stand. To finally make my house feel like my home.

After a summer spent riding the ebb and flow of our new life, I think we might, just might, finally have some peace. To say that I never want to have another summer like this one would be an understatement. But the prizes that came out of this cracker jack box have been priceless.
My sweet son.
My HOME.
My little learners.
My little frick and frack.

In the words of my husband “you’re like a ping pong ball on a bungee cord…” I tell you that it’s been a mighty trying time. And yet… here we are. 5 contented kids, 2 REALLY exhausted parents and one very big, very merry, very blessed unit.

Tonight we sat. We viewed the telly and ate popcorn. We just were. Then my love went off to check our children and discovered our little man, Sam, sucking on his little tiny finger. And I started to cry. Because it hit me, like a little tsunami, that I might not remember this night. I might not remember that he rolled over for the first time at my parents on Labor Day weekend. I might not remember that he laughed at me when I tickled him, just after I nursed him, sitting in my chair…sometime in August. That I have almost no pictures of him, and maybe 2 of me or Charles with him. That these days, these sweet moments with my littlest baby, have rushed by in a blur of stuff, stress, wailing babies, crying mommy, stressed out daddy and overwhelmed big girls.

I haven’t written about how astonished I have been as I watch my big girls with their littles. Their kindness, unconditional love and extraordinary patience has been like watching the hand of God lead my children. And it has certainly been that hand that has led us out of this craziness and into a peace. (Albeit a busy one, but a peace nonetheless.)

I haven’t written about the binky wars, the fun with forks, the battle for Mommy (or Daddy, as the case may be.) The puckered up kisses of my littlest Mercy, the sweet hugs between my twinners, the maniacal laughter that fills my home, the mud wars, the MAJOR MAX MELTDOWNS (usually resulting in running, loud wailing and occasional dropping to the floor in sheer RIDICULOUSNESS.) The high pitched screeching from Mercy as she touts her displeasure, usually followed by a quick recovery and a rapid fire succession of Mercy speak that I am FINALLY starting to decipher.

I haven’t told you that homeschooling is HARD. But the best thing I’ve ever done for my kids. That there are days I forget to pee because I haven’t stopped for one second. That the first 2 weeks were like a fire house in my mouth, and the second 2 weeks are getting there. That I really love spending my days with all of my children. That I am so proud of how hard they work every day. That I love watching their little minds “get it.” That I love starting my day with our devotional. That I love that they love it.


I haven’t talked about how Max and Mercy will sit with us for sometimes an hour! “Reading” their books, “writing,” eating playdoh, throwing rice and, on occasion, doing a timeline motion or 2. :0) I haven’t told you that today, as I was prepping the brood to zip over to Evie’s riding lessons, I opened the door to the M-n-M’s room, only to discover Max, Mercy and Charley sitting quietly in the middle of their floor, reading books. My heart almost exploded and I knew, without one shred of doubt, that my family works like this.

I haven’t shared Eva’s joy for writing, reading and learning the word of God. The joy radiating from her face when she learns new verses, writes a new story or discovers a neat new book, it’s phenomenal. You don’t know that she is my greatest help, my little friend, my sidekick. You don’t see the thirst for knowledge that has re-emerged in this last month.

The wonder that is Charley hasn’t been shared with you. The astonishing memory that I have seen emerge in just 4 weeks, the quest to know and to understand. The longing to be a big girl, but with a heart that is still so sweet and little.

The old soul that is my Mercy. Always tending her baby, wearing whatever she can loop around her neck to “dress up,” sporting a sweet little purse on her arm. Sitting on the front step, watching the world go by, just like her Nana and her great Nana. She is a little Carolyn and Susan all rolled into one.

The sweet, tender hearted and “oh so sensitive” Max man. His heart is bigger than the grand canyon. His sweetness, beyond inspiring. His toe bouncing run? comical! His favorite music? Hard rock or heavy metal…guess his doppelganger passed on more than his looks. 🙂 And he is all boy, all the time. (even when he’s pushing a pink stroller loaded with bunnies, he is ramming it into a wall.)

And my marvelous, marvelous husband. The best father. Ever.

There is just so much to share and so little time to type. I hope this snippet and these photos find all of you well. I hope I can share more snippets soon…pray for more hours in my day. 🙂
Love to all…
clan mac mama