Helping. Healing. Caring.
I’ve been fighting my Father. My Lord, my Savior, my Abba, my Almighty. Tooth and nail, I’ve waged in a bloody and emotional battle with Him. I’ve screamed, I’ve cried, I’ve begged and I’ve cursed. Layer upon layer of pain has landed squarely in His lap. Because in the interest of complete transparency, I really […]
the sorting, the shifting, once again. Storage sheds filled with shattered dreams. Of a life left behind in tortured screams. Boxes filled with so many things… Once held dreams aloft on wings. One side of me wishes to set it ablaze, to watch it burn in a hellish haze. To erase the memories, will […]
the 3 of them. Instead of the 5. I was blessed to have an “extra” in the form of the sweet boy child of a friend. So I felt a little less naked. A little less glaringly NOT MYSELF. Not a mom of many. Not that “blessed” mama everyone needs to stop and gawk […]
could wreck me. Rip my heart into a thousand tiny shreds all over again. Wash over me with a sadness so deep, so profound that my body felt too heavy for me to carry. I wrote them all Valentine sentiments. Even Mercy & Sam. I know they can’t read them, I know there is no […]
the Word. The Holy, precious, life-giving and soul healing Word of God. It’s my manna.It’s the blood pumping through my veins, the air I breathe, the song in my heart. I answered a question today.Why do we Praise & Worship Him? Him who sits on the throne, our great Redeemer, our sovereign Lord, our precious […]
The following collection of posts are ones I have prayed over, begged my precious Father for direction with, and poured my grief into at the end of a torturous Christmas season. Undoubtedly, anger spilled into them, and it shows. The rage that fills my soul at the injustice of the end of my children’s earthly […]
and their tears are falling down… I should have known they’d be with me. Someway, somehow, They always are. It’s my first visit to Tennessee since “the accident.” My first trip without my other half. My anchor. My Charles. The other anchor in my life, my other sweet Sammy, rode shotgun […]
how many times a day I utter these words…I just want my babies back.I just want my life back. I just want to be a mama to 5 littles. And every. single. time.I get slapped in the face by the cold reality that I just can’t have what I want. That the picture you see is […]
Honestly-I’m just thankful one more dreaded “1st” has passed.I’m thankful for those who took the time to remember and acknowledge our sweet Mercy and Sam in this painful time, and to remind us of how much they were loved and are missed. I’m thankful beyond measure for ALL of my children. And yet-Every day feels […]
I read a poem recently about the shoes I walk in.The shoes I never wanted to wear-the ones of a grieving mother. And then I thought…What about HIS shoes? The grieving father and the shoes HE must wear? The man whose heart is just as broken as mine-yet he stands in the shadows with his […]