when we are so painfully reminded of death?
In the darkness, I slowly crawled out of sleep this morning, painfully aware that on this 2 month anniversary of Mercy & Sammy’s home going, it is also the day my husband would normally “celebrate” his birth.
My husband.
The man I’ve held as he has cried rivers of tears for our children that are both with us and with Jesus.  This strong man, who in his ultimate weakness, has reminded me every day that it is only the Lord who will carry us in this painful journey.
I begged Jesus this morning to give me the grace to know how to both celebrate and comfort him today.  How do you say Happy Birthday to your husband when you know he’s not?  When you’re not?
So I simply thanked Jesus for him and told him so.  Because I am truly blessed beyond measure by his love, his dedication to our Lord and our family, his grace in grief, and his strength in continuing to trust the Lord even when I don’t.
I. am. blessed.

Always and forever, I am blessed.  He is blessed.

So, today, we’ll choose to quietly be thankful for my Charles, because without him, I would never have been blessed to be Mama to my 5 extraordinary children.  Extraordinary because they come from our Creator, each created in His own image, knit in my womb and called His children for just the number of days He ordained for each of them.  Days we cherish and remember with gratitude and infinite love.

I’m so thankful for you, my love.  I pray that today is filled with wonderful memories of the years we we were blessed to celebrate with our babies.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, 
I know that full well. 
My frame was not hidden from you 
when I was made in the secret place. 
When I was woven together in the 
depths of the earth, 
your eyes saw my unformed body. 
All the days ordained for me 
were written in your book 
before one of them came to be.  
Psalm 139:13-16