you’ll probably never know the priceless and precious gift you gave me today when you shared sweet Ella with me.
You’ll probably spend a few minutes talking about me and wondering why I got all teary-eyed when you handed her to me and I felt the soft weight of her cuddly little body.
You might be a bit intrigued as to why I’d go to the trouble of taking my earrings & glasses off just to hold an itty-bitty girl in a rugged and cozy hometown market.
As you leave, perhaps you’ll smile a bit at the memory, then head off to your home filled with baby snuggles, precious laughter and a wee bit of a girl who was the personification of God’s grace and light to a broken hearted mama on a sorrowful Sunday afternoon.
What I wish I could tell you is how it took my breath away to see her reach for me, to light up the room as she smiled, and to have a few of the holes in my soul filled to overflowing by the innocence of a young spirit so willing to let me love her.
Every single day…
Searching, seeking, I’m desperate to sense their nearness.
And He blesses me-
A striking chirp of a cardinal calling,
the gentle flutter of a soaring butterfly,
crashing waves on a sandy shore,
rolling thunder amidst a storm,
murmuring wind and rustling leaves,
tinkling laughter of a tiny little voice…
and the velvety touch of a pure and virtuous soul.
Ella’s mom and dad-
Today you returned to me a precious piece of my soul. In sharing Ella, you gave salve to a gaping, grieving wound and began to wash it clean. To simply say Thank You isn’t enough. I could give you a million reasons why it’s not enough, but there is only one that matters.
Your child, your “different” child, was Christ radiating His light right into that room, and the love that filled each of your eyes as you held her, gazed at her and shared her was simply majestic to behold.
Ella-
You are absolutely perfect in His sight. And you are more than perfect in mine. I wish that I could wrap you in a bubble and keep you from a world that demands unrealistic flawlessness. I only held you for a moment and I would stand in front of a speeding train to keep the world from hurting you, so I can only imagine how much your mommy and daddy love you. And for just one moment today, I felt the unconditional love of my sweet babies pour from your pure heart as it did from theirs.
Every day, I’ll pray for you and Mommy and Daddy, Ella. I’ll thank God for you, I’ll hold out hope with a little corner of my heart- that someday I’ll get to snuggle you for just a moment again and tell you how perfect I think you are. I’ll whisper in your ear how much better the world is with you in it. And I’ll tell your Mommy and Daddy how beholden I am to them for letting me have just a moment with you.
Jesus loves you Ella, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
And I do too.
love,
clan mac mama