squashes my punkin’s exploration of what she thinks is art!! I’ve always had a bit of an issue with “pre-determined” art for kids. Yeah, those little craft thingys they make in school are cute, but it’s not thier idea, thier interpretation. It’s not THEM. Today, Evie came home with this cute little worksheet with an outline of a little girl. The title was “Only 1 Me.” She was supposed to color it & fill it in with whatever she wanted. YES, she did an amazing job of coloring in the lines & used lots of fun colors & even made her hair blond, but I did wish that she had just drawn her very own self portrait. It’s funny, though. I actually felt guilty for feeling that way & not just being bowled over by how great she was coloring inside the lines. I know you’re all rolling your eyes and thinking I’ve gotten way too crunchy granola (except you, Angie :-), but I really do think that sometimes our society is so obsessed with labels, commercialism & keeping up with the “Joneses” because we’ve lost our ability to be “free” thinkers. We’re born into a society that doesn’t always value the whimsy & magic of our children. I believe that there are still way too many people out there who think children are meant to be controlled, told what to think & should be seen/not heard and that it has an enormously negative impact on both our children and ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I like nice things as much as the next person, but I’ve found over the last 2 years that not having what I thought was so important & that I could live somewhat “without” that it’s really changed what I think is important. I no longer believe that money is the marker for success in life. My marker is my family, my children & my self-image. I get a much bigger reward at the end of day when I look at my children sleeping, peaceful- happy- healthy, and I know that they are that way because of Me, of Charles.
I haven’t turned into “simple living” poster child. I haven’t stopped buying things just because I like them. What I have done is learn I should want things because they make me happy, not because they show others what I have.
SO, how did I get to what I want/have/believe from “coloring inside the lines?” Simple. I want to live my life without conforming to societal norms just to fit in. I want my children to learn how to learn, NOT just learn to recite, regurgitate, pass the standardized test or color in the lines. I want to sing every day for the rest of my life, just because I finally love my voice. The way it sounds, the smile it brings to the faces of my children, my family, my students, my friends. I want to write for ME. I want to write for my children. I want to write for all of you. But most of all, I want to live each day like it’s my last and regret nothing else. Because honestly, I have no regrets anymore. Each piece, part, event, has made me who I am today. And you know what? I like me, I really like me.
I really was so proud of Eva’s coloring today. It means her fine motor is totally ROCKIN’ and that she is beginning pre-writing. And that is awesome. Any new thing she accomplishes makes me smile & fills me with joy. BUT, I can still wish for better experiences for her & make it my mission to find them for her.
Hmm. I must be feeling introspective today. Ya think?
luv to you and miss you all!
Pay
IT
Forward,
tiffers
11 thoughts on “Coloring inside the lines…”
Comments are closed.
well said tiff, as usual. finding a line between morality and conformity is tough, especially when you have “modified morals” compared to the generation(s) that raised us. i think this blog rocks, and heres why: I remember, quite some time ago, when my oldest sister was NOT a mom, and quite a bit more rebelliously opinionated than she is now. Now, your a mom, and your taking all the positiveness of those views and applying it to how your raise your children. Here is why i think THAT rules. Most of us that have modified moral views, arrive there from being jaded, or cynical about society. We need more moms that can turn that jadedness into something positive, rather than shelter their children, only to have the tiny heads explode the minute they step away from their parents tent of morality. Perhaps the next generation of Mccawley/lewis children will actually be cooler than their predecessors!
Ok you two how come everthing that comes out of the two of you always sounds so damn smart and intrespective it makes me feel like a smuck. I’m just trying to make sure I can help Haley with her math homework that is over my head and try to say and be the right kind of mom that she will always feel comfortable comeing to me about anything. Which as of late includes alot more than controversey on the playground my God she doesn’t even have recess anymore. Were has time gone. I always thought people were full of shit when they said it gets harder I mean what could be harder than whinning begging sneaking and all the other things that come with having children from the ages of 4 to 11. But suddenly I look at haley and I see myself I so want her to be way more confident and self assured then I ever was I feel like ever word and action that comes out of my mouth will impact her in so many ways. Maybe I am freaking out way to much but I am totally blowing in the wind her with trying to figure the line between being a cool parent and an effective parent at the same time.I think being 19 and a single mom to an infant was way easier than this. Mark Tiff anyone have some insit or suggestions? Tiff I love your blog and I am so proud of you.
Ok you two how come everthing that comes out of the two of you always sounds so damn smart and intrespective it makes me feel like a smuck. I’m just trying to make sure I can help Haley with her math homework that is over my head and try to say and be the right kind of mom that she will always feel comfortable comeing to me about anything. Which as of late includes alot more than controversey on the playground my God she doesn’t even have recess anymore. Were has time gone. I always thought people were full of shit when they said it gets harder I mean what could be harder than whinning begging sneaking and all the other things that come with having children from the ages of 4 to 11. But suddenly I look at haley and I see myself I so want her to be way more confident and self assured then I ever was I feel like ever word and action that comes out of my mouth will impact her in so many ways. Maybe I am freaking out way to much but I am totally blowing in the wind her with trying to figure the line between being a cool parent and an effective parent at the same time.I think being 19 and a single mom to an infant was way easier than this. Mark Tiff anyone have some insit or suggestions? Tiff I love your blog and I am so proud of you.
Sam, since i dont have kids i gotta say, this stuff is alot easier for me to say than do! i’m a total cheater. Seriously though, your one of the coolest moms in history, i mean that. We’ve talked about this quite abit, and honestly i think everything your doing is right. Parenting is infinitely more important that well, anything, but that doesnt meanthat learning how to do it should be any different than anything else, right? I think you do it perfectly, you treat haley and the kids how you wanna be treated and try not make the same mistakes that you’ve seen others make in parenting. And on top of that you really are a “cool” parent to your kids, and believe me, thats ALL they give a shit about. Your just sneakin those morals in under their little noses. You got an applause from me! So dont feel like smuck, you’ve been doing this nearly 3 times as long as tiffany, and im not even a parent! I think your doin an AMAZING job! Love you guys!
Sam, since i dont have kids i gotta say, this stuff is alot easier for me to say than do! i’m a total cheater. Seriously though, your one of the coolest moms in history, i mean that. We’ve talked about this quite abit, and honestly i think everything your doing is right. Parenting is infinitely more important that well, anything, but that doesnt meanthat learning how to do it should be any different than anything else, right? I think you do it perfectly, you treat haley and the kids how you wanna be treated and try not make the same mistakes that you’ve seen others make in parenting. And on top of that you really are a “cool” parent to your kids, and believe me, thats ALL they give a shit about. Your just sneakin those morals in under their little noses. You got an applause from me! So dont feel like smuck, you’ve been doing this nearly 3 times as long as tiffany, and im not even a parent! I think your doin an AMAZING job! Love you guys!
Sam, since i dont have kids i gotta say, this stuff is alot easier for me to say than do! i’m a total cheater. Seriously though, your one of the coolest moms in history, i mean that. We’ve talked about this quite abit, and honestly i think everything your doing is right. Parenting is infinitely more important that well, anything, but that doesnt meanthat learning how to do it should be any different than anything else, right? I think you do it perfectly, you treat haley and the kids how you wanna be treated and try not make the same mistakes that you’ve seen others make in parenting. And on top of that you really are a “cool” parent to your kids, and believe me, thats ALL they give a shit about. Your just sneakin those morals in under their little noses. You got an applause from me! So dont feel like smuck, you’ve been doing this nearly 3 times as long as tiffany, and im not even a parent! I think your doin an AMAZING job! Love you guys!
Hi guys, well thanks Mark your so sweet! I am glad you think I’m cool that means alot coming from the King of coolness. anyway
I love this blog thing I wish I new how to get pictures on them I would totally do it, when Terry gets home I am gonna make him show me how to do it. Tiff I look forward to looking up your blog it makes me feel like I am part of the girls lives and I get to see them change way more than just a picture every once in a while. Although it does occasinally make me sad because I feel like I am missing so much of there lives. I can not wait until christmas! Oh yeah Mark if you read this Mary and Damon are joining the ranks of parenthood.
Hi guys, well thanks Mark your so sweet! I am glad you think I’m cool that means alot coming from the King of coolness. anyway
I love this blog thing I wish I new how to get pictures on them I would totally do it, when Terry gets home I am gonna make him show me how to do it. Tiff I look forward to looking up your blog it makes me feel like I am part of the girls lives and I get to see them change way more than just a picture every once in a while. Although it does occasinally make me sad because I feel like I am missing so much of there lives. I can not wait until christmas! Oh yeah Mark if you read this Mary and Damon are joining the ranks of parenthood.
oh you are too great. i HADN’T read this yet and just got off the phone with you and this is SO TRUE … all these mixed emotions of momhood!!! i could analyze everything if i really tried. you do have a super philosophy and all your experiences have made you a super mom to those lucky girls!
i miss you! and i don’t think you’re too crunchy- just the right amount. if you were any more granola who would balance me out when i want to stop washing my hair and grow dreads?
oh you are too great. i HADN’T read this yet and just got off the phone with you and this is SO TRUE … all these mixed emotions of momhood!!! i could analyze everything if i really tried. you do have a super philosophy and all your experiences have made you a super mom to those lucky girls!
i miss you! and i don’t think you’re too crunchy- just the right amount. if you were any more granola who would balance me out when i want to stop washing my hair and grow dreads?
oh you are too great. i HADN’T read this yet and just got off the phone with you and this is SO TRUE … all these mixed emotions of momhood!!! i could analyze everything if i really tried. you do have a super philosophy and all your experiences have made you a super mom to those lucky girls!
i miss you! and i don’t think you’re too crunchy- just the right amount. if you were any more granola who would balance me out when i want to stop washing my hair and grow dreads?