Tiffany McCawley – The SaMercy Fund

Dear Ella’s mom & dad,

| child loss, Down's Syndrome, faith in grief, God's grace, grief child, McCawley children, the clan mccawley, The SaMercy Fund, Tiffany McCawley

you’ll probably never know the priceless and precious gift you gave me today when you shared sweet Ella with me. You’ll probably spend a few minutes talking about me and wondering why I got all teary-eyed when you handed her to me and I felt the soft weight of her cuddly little body. You might […]

It’s kind of like expecting a deaf person…

No Comments

| faith in grief, faith in guilt, God's grace, grief children, grief year 2, guilt in grief, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, The SaMercy Fund, Tiffany McCawley

to understand sound. A color blind person to grasp what a rainbow looks like. A barren woman to understand the magic of a baby in her womb.Or an atheist to understand that denying the existence of God because you cannot physically prove He exists is a bizarre kind of reverse faith, based on the exact […]

Unconditional and simply selfless LOVE-

No Comments

| Charles McCawley, father grief, grief children, grieving a child, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, the clan mccawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

It’s who he is, woven into the fabric of how he lives, how he loves, how he serves, he IS love. My husband, the man who God chose for me, the father of my children, he is my love, but more importantly, he is who God appointed to raise up our babies. From the […]

What was it like when I was born, mama?

No Comments

| Charles McCawley, child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, the clan mccawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley, UTV accidents

That was the very last question I remember you asking me…I can still here your sing-song voice asking me as your arms were wrapped around my neck. On your birthday, at just 5 years old, you asked me what it was like when you were born. Honestly, I was speechless for a moment, then I […]

I wasn’t supposed to be there today.

No Comments

| child loss, grief child, grief children, losing a twin, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

I sat in that auditorium 1 year ago this weekend, bittersweet tears falling from my eyes as I fully realized that in just a few short weeks, we were leaving. Pulling up stakes on the Marine Corps traveling road show and unexpectedly starting over yet again. This day, these hours, precious laughter and tear stained […]

a lightning rod in perpetual storm…

No Comments

| Charles McCawley, grief children, grieving a child, guilt in grief, Homeschooling, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

in short-I seriously thought my husband got struck by lightning today. Not kidding. And I honestly felt like I wouldn’t even have been surprised. That’s really what our life has felt like for the last 9 months. A merry go round of sadness, frustration, fear, pain and complete crap-a** circumstances. One hurdle after another. This […]

There are holes in the floor of heaven…

No Comments

| Charles McCawley, child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, guilt in grief, losing a twin, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, survivor guilt, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

and their tears are falling down… I should have known they’d be with me. Someway, somehow, They always are. It’s my first visit to Tennessee since “the accident.” My first trip without my other half. My anchor. My Charles. The other anchor in my life, my other sweet Sammy, rode shotgun […]

My sweet little son just asked me if he could…

No Comments

| grief child, grief children, grieving a child, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

“go back to that place, you know, the one where Mercy & Sam’s bodies are?” Umm…I was speechless for just a minute, then recovered enough to try and give that sweet little 6 year old boy an answer that would make sense to his confused mind and broken heart. To say today was difficult might […]

skies a-painted in tie dye sunsets,

1 Comment

| Charles McCawley, child loss, grief, grief child, grief children, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

His whispers calm those last regrets.Sammy’s scent on a bumblebee pillow,tears falling like the leaves of a willow.butterflies flitting here and there,memories, memories, everywhere.cardinals resting in the trees,shattered dreams drop me to my knees. words of wisdom from God Most High,to my beaten, broken heart, a lullaby.the healing power of His Holy Grace,evident in every […]