losing a twin – The SaMercy Fund

I wasn’t supposed to be there today.

| child loss, grief child, grief children, losing a twin, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

I sat in that auditorium 1 year ago this weekend, bittersweet tears falling from my eyes as I fully realized that in just a few short weeks, we were leaving. Pulling up stakes on the Marine Corps traveling road show and unexpectedly starting over yet again. This day, these hours, precious laughter and tear stained […]

There are holes in the floor of heaven…

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| Charles McCawley, child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, guilt in grief, losing a twin, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, survivor guilt, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

and their tears are falling down… I should have known they’d be with me. Someway, somehow, They always are. It’s my first visit to Tennessee since “the accident.” My first trip without my other half. My anchor. My Charles. The other anchor in my life, my other sweet Sammy, rode shotgun […]

Walking in my shoes…

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| child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, guilt in grief, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, survivor guilt

I read a poem recently about the shoes I walk in.The shoes I never wanted to wear-the ones of a grieving mother. And then I thought…What about HIS shoes? The grieving father and the shoes HE must wear? The man whose heart is just as broken as mine-yet he stands in the shadows with his […]

My sweet little son just asked me if he could…

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| grief child, grief children, grieving a child, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

“go back to that place, you know, the one where Mercy & Sam’s bodies are?” Umm…I was speechless for just a minute, then recovered enough to try and give that sweet little 6 year old boy an answer that would make sense to his confused mind and broken heart. To say today was difficult might […]

skies a-painted in tie dye sunsets,

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| Charles McCawley, child loss, grief, grief child, grief children, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

His whispers calm those last regrets.Sammy’s scent on a bumblebee pillow,tears falling like the leaves of a willow.butterflies flitting here and there,memories, memories, everywhere.cardinals resting in the trees,shattered dreams drop me to my knees. words of wisdom from God Most High,to my beaten, broken heart, a lullaby.the healing power of His Holy Grace,evident in every […]