child loss – The SaMercy Fund

Dear Ella’s mom & dad,

| child loss, Down's Syndrome, faith in grief, God's grace, grief child, McCawley children, the clan mccawley, The SaMercy Fund, Tiffany McCawley

you’ll probably never know the priceless and precious gift you gave me today when you shared sweet Ella with me. You’ll probably spend a few minutes talking about me and wondering why I got all teary-eyed when you handed her to me and I felt the soft weight of her cuddly little body. You might […]

What was it like when I was born, mama?

No Comments

| Charles McCawley, child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, the clan mccawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley, UTV accidents

That was the very last question I remember you asking me…I can still here your sing-song voice asking me as your arms were wrapped around my neck. On your birthday, at just 5 years old, you asked me what it was like when you were born. Honestly, I was speechless for a moment, then I […]

I wasn’t supposed to be there today.

No Comments

| child loss, grief child, grief children, losing a twin, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

I sat in that auditorium 1 year ago this weekend, bittersweet tears falling from my eyes as I fully realized that in just a few short weeks, we were leaving. Pulling up stakes on the Marine Corps traveling road show and unexpectedly starting over yet again. This day, these hours, precious laughter and tear stained […]

There are holes in the floor of heaven…

No Comments

| Charles McCawley, child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, guilt in grief, losing a twin, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, survivor guilt, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

and their tears are falling down… I should have known they’d be with me. Someway, somehow, They always are. It’s my first visit to Tennessee since “the accident.” My first trip without my other half. My anchor. My Charles. The other anchor in my life, my other sweet Sammy, rode shotgun […]

Walking in my shoes…

2 Comments

| child loss, father grief, grief child, grief children, grieving a child, guilt in grief, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, survivor guilt

I read a poem recently about the shoes I walk in.The shoes I never wanted to wear-the ones of a grieving mother. And then I thought…What about HIS shoes? The grieving father and the shoes HE must wear? The man whose heart is just as broken as mine-yet he stands in the shadows with his […]

skies a-painted in tie dye sunsets,

1 Comment

| Charles McCawley, child loss, grief, grief child, grief children, losing a twin, McCawley children, Mercy McCawley, Sam McCawley, Tiffany Lewis, Tiffany McCawley

His whispers calm those last regrets.Sammy’s scent on a bumblebee pillow,tears falling like the leaves of a willow.butterflies flitting here and there,memories, memories, everywhere.cardinals resting in the trees,shattered dreams drop me to my knees. words of wisdom from God Most High,to my beaten, broken heart, a lullaby.the healing power of His Holy Grace,evident in every […]